Its been a crazy summer!!
With my daughter preparing to leave for college on August 16th (just a few more days to go) and the emotional roller coaster of dealing with my childhood traumas being revisited on my own children through my parents, I feel like I'm screaming to get off the ride but no one can hear me. My daughter is full of insecurities right now. Wondering if she is packing the right stuff? packing too much? not packing enough? will people think she is weird? will her 2 new dorm mates be cool or drive her crazy? will she miss home too much or forget to miss us? I have tried to help her through lots of late night chats and encouraging words, but she must ultimately face this huge transition on her own at UTDallas. I am super confident that she is ready with all the skills to live on her own. However, emotionally she is 18 and all that goes with that age of self doubt and self discovery. She went last night to get another hole in her head to commemorate her adulthood and her desire to express herself. Don't freak out--she just got a second piercing in her right ear. She was so proud when she got home last night. Since I know she is very into boys, I will never question her sexual orientation nor will any of her friends, but it did occur to me that times have changed dramatically. When I was a teenager, getting a piercing in your right ear only meant you were homosexual. My husband has assured me that with the popularity of piercings now, all that stereotypical junk has gone by the wayside and I'm glad to hear that, because it always seemed stupid to me to determine sexual orientation on an earring!!!!
Both kids have recovered from their trauma caused by my parents. They both created a list of all incidents and discussed each one with me and Jason (my hubby). It was important that all that junk got out of them in a healthy way. I told them as they wrote to release the yuck, and let it go. My 11 year old son still has nightmares of his abuse by my father. My Dad can be a really bad bully and tried to make it his purpose this summer to break my son.....of what I am still not sure. He did that to me also and so I have been able to heal alot through my childrens' experiences. I was an only child and so it was just me and my parents had me convinced I was a bad daughter, and crazy. I can proudly say I have known for years they were wrong, but through my children's eyes I was able to forgive my parents and I'm working on moving forward with new confidence in myself and learning to love me again. Funny (not Ha Ha! funny but interesting) that life comes full circle and provides opportunities for positive growth through the most unusual and unexpected avenues.
The Texas heat has proved to be an additional challenge this summer along with the drought and burn ban. I have missed our back porch fireside smores and chats I always associate with summer. Our yard has taken a death slide with almost no grass still alive since we can only water once a week or get a $500 fine!!! My flower beds have been watered by hand by all 4 of us as often as we remember, because hand watering is allowed anytime. I guess I could have hand watered the lawn, but hours of standing with a hose in my hand is beyond my pain threshould and frankly I don't have the patience for it. The yard will recover eventually and if not good thing I have always loved rock gardens and zero scape plants. LOL
I hope all of you have had a lovely summer and enjoyed time with your families and friends!! I am sure many of you have also had unexpected challenges and not had the summer you planned. With this in mind, I decided to post about my crazy summer so none of you feel alone. Many hugs and blessings to each of you!!
Love to all, Liz